Hello to Another Welcome Back

Hello blog.
Oh, how have i let myself go this far? I've been away from you for a bit too long, dont you think? And the time I was gone, I've been slowly putting on all these pounds. Everytime the scale told me I was a pound heavier from the previous days, i would be so disappointed, then depressed ... eventually ending with a monstrous binge and hibernation. I'm in a totally new environment, surrounded by new people. Moved further away from my parents so i thought it would be easier to restrict, but guess not (they would visit every weekend for dinner and keep an eye on me) . Oh but I have one good news! I've been sober.... no drugs..... maybe that explains my fucking beastly appetite.. ughhh. i'd rather have the drugs and be thin than sober and fat.

Enough of whining. Okay, so I came back to blogging for one reason; LOSE THE FUCKING WEIGHT I GAINED, plus more. you're probably wondering how i'm going to do this, but to be honest with you, i don't have a clue either. back at home, it was much easier cause i used drugs whenever i wanted to, so the weight would disappear, but here i can't do that. I'm just going to have to do this the old-fashioned way. TOTAL RESTRICTION. i'll be updating frequently on my progress. I have a certain day that I must lose weight by so i'm pretty serious about this.

THINSPO TO COME

Starve On
Love,Ana

Hello to A New Beginning

Hello, blog.

The big D-day is drawing near! In a short while, I will be moving to the Big City! I'm super excited to start a new life. I guess it's kind of bittersweet; I'm really going to miss home, but we all need to move forward if we want to get somewhere, right? I know I've been m.i.a. for quite while now... nothing new... hahaha but once i get settled after my big move, I promise to update frequently. I've been doing better with my intake these past few days. I'm proud to announce that I've finally stopped my late night binges! FUCKING FINALLY, RIGHT?! I need to shed all this weight off as soon as possible! I want to walk on the streets of my new world, skinny as fuck. I have a feeling it's going to be a lot easier to reach my goal weight once I move. I won't have to worry as much about being watched! YESSSSS, some privacy is exactly what I needed. I can't shut up about how excited I am! 85 pounds, here I come! Get ready for another skinny bitch to fucking rock the streets! Sorry guys, but I gotta end this post early 'cause I've been craving nicotine for hours now. buhbye!

Stay Strong & Starve On... like always<3

Love,Ana

Hello to "Cute" Chubby Cheeks

Oh goddddddddd. this medicine is totally destroying me, and it's literally unstoppable. i kid you not. i've been consuming all kinds of food all day and night. and when i say "all day and night", i LITERALLY mean it. Last night i came home around 2 in the morning and stayed up til 5 am. Why was i up so late? CAUSE I WAS TOO FUCKING BUSY DIGGING IN THE FRIDGE FOR FOOD. and yes, i did end up bingeing. i ate two and a half slices of pizza, chocolate ice cream, and a two bags of potato chips. what a beastly appetite... i'm soooooo attractive.... not. oh and to explain the title of this post........ that's what the guy i'm dating said to me when i told him how much i've been eating.

you know what, i'm desperate to lose weight. if i gotta do it the unhealthy way, ill do it. starving, drugs, whatever.. i did it before, and i can do it again. ill be back 10-15 pounds lighter. watch me.

i LOVE her! i LOVE her body! i can't believe i actually used to look like that.... i never realized til i started gaining all this weight. i can do this. i have to do this. i can't even fit into my jeans anymore...........

STARVE THE FUK ON & THINK THIN

Love,Ana

Hello to Bullshit Medicine that Makes You Fat

Long time no see, blog! I seem to say this every time I post 'cause I rarely do now. Life's a tangled mess and it leaves no time for blogging... seriously breaks my heart 'cause I used to be highly addicted to reading all your blogs and all that jazz! Anyways, my dad thinks that I look too "thin and fragile", so he's feeding me this medicine that's supposed to make you "healthier." I interpret that as... making me FAT. I've actually noticed my appetite increasing more and more since I've been on this mediation. I keep craving food and I can't help but just EAT! It's starting to drive in INSANE, guys! I've been stable at 97 lbs right before I started this medicine bullshit. Now, I'm up to 101.5 lbs. WHAT the fuck. That's ho

w much I weigh after a late night binge... and now that's how much I weigh in the morning when I'm the lightest through the day. FUCK ME NOW. Fuck. I'm so fucking pissed. I've been bingeing at like 3 in the fucking morning.. EVERY FUCKING DAY.

Oh, and to make it even better... this guy I'm dating feeds me like I'm fucking 7 months pregnant. He says he wants to fatten me up a little bit... Am I your like... cushion-y hugging buddy or something? I don't want to be a short, plump, squishy person, OK?! Sorry for all this anger but i just HAD to let it out. Okay, now that it's out. Time to devise a plan to backfire my Dad's plan. I'm going to try my hardest to eat a big breakfast and keep the res

t of the meals as minimal as possible. Better yet, just eat breakfast and liquids only after. I'd have to see how this works 'cause I've been eating a lot since I'm usually with friends. Wish me luck and see you soon, blog!

Think thin & Starve the fuck on!

Love,Ana

P.S. THIS is what i'm going to look like... sooner or later!

Hello to A Bitch named Life

Hello blog and oh how dearly sorry i am for abandoning you! Life hasn't been treating me so well, please understand. I've been going through a bit too much, didn't have time to really post. And, on top of that, I need to start packing soon... I will be moving far far away. It's bittersweet, I guess. I've wanted to get out of this place for so damn long, but the thought of being apart from all my friends and family just scares the shit out of me. Starting ALL over in a totally different place. Sounds exciting, eh? But just a bit scary, not much, but a bit. SOOOOO, before I move away, I NEED TO LOSE SOME DAMN WEIGHT ! It sucks cause I've been at this plateau for so long! I've been maintaining 98 lbs the last few days, but today it shot up to 101.5 Ask me why? I don't know .... UGH. Popped a lax so that should help me go down to about 99.5 to 100? i don't know.. FUCK. I need to stop drinking. I've been drinking everyday to keep myself away from drugs, you know? Life's too stressful to stay sober. I fucking hate life. Fuck you, life! Enough of my ranting.. I need to get out of this fat mess, and start restricting again. All this alcohol and junk food ain't goin to do any good for these fatass thighs!

Love,Ana

Hello to Lax Healing

Got drunk up my ass last night. Came home and binged. Popped a lax. Woke up weighing at 98.5 lbs. For breakfast I consumed about 1000 calories, no doubt. Now i probably weigh...i don't even wanna know. Why do i do this? That binge last night was more than enough to last me through today with no food, but I stuffed 1000 nasty calories into me. Ew. Im planning on not eating anything else today. It's only 1:00pm so... it's going to be hard, i know it. I'm sure my friends are going to drag me to go drinking with them... AGAIN. I think I've been drinking for about 5 consecutive days. Whatever, I'll starve the rest of today and have a few drinks tonight. I hope I don't fuck this up.

So, losing weight isn't really working out right now. So aren't my guy problems. I'm so done with boys and serious relationships, but guy #1 seems to want something much more serious now. I was only looking for something light and fun. Now what? I still want to be able to go around and flirt with other people. I've been stuck in a committed relationship for so long that I've been missing out on so much fun. I don't wanna put myself in that kind of situation again. I recently met this one guy at the bar, and I think he's SUPER cute. He's super tall, he has a charming smile, and his facial structures are SHARP. his face looks like carved stone. Reminds me of edward cullen, kinda. HAHAHA lame. Anyways, I'm probably going to end up seeing him tonight again. We'll see how things go

StayStrong,
Love,Ana

Hello to Unworthy Me

Hi blog. I'll be honest with you. The reason why I've been constantly shunning this blog the past few weeks is because I feel like I'm not worthy enough to write here. I plan fasts and diets, but I always fail to complete them. It's really a shitty feeling when you tell yourself that you'll do something, but never cross the finish line. Yesterday I kept myself busy so I didn't really consume much. When my friends and i went out to drink, I held myself back and had only one beer. BUT, today was... a whole different story. My mom came over with food.. TOO much food. I told her I had a bad stomachache, but that excuse never gets to her. She watched me as I ate. I finished everything. I resisted purging. Now, my dad wants to take me out to dinner. This means that we're going to be having cake after a feast. (He always gets me cake for dessert after a heavy meal). Am i fucked or what? I'm DREADING dinner. I'm still full from earlier, how the fuck am i supposed to stuff more into me? Please help me. I need to start finding the Ana in me, but it's so hard. I'm too weak to do this alone. I hate to admit it, but drugs help me starve.

StayStrong<3

Love,Ana

Hello to MORE UPDATING with a side order of more drama

Hello blog! I just got my laptop back so I'll be posting a lot more frequently than usual :) I'm glad, cause that ought to help me stay on track. I've been slipping a lot lately. My weight won't stay stable, and it's really starting to piss me off! I need to start losing weight FAST cause summer it's already summer and I'm not ready for the beach.

Today was a good, relaxing day. Went shopping with a few friends and just spent some good quality time together. HOWEVER, there's always a downside to hanging out with friends.. food. I had to force myself to eat. I almost barfed while eating dinner. Food just wouldn't digest correctly. Anyways, yeah... so my day was relaxing and everything was going great until something bad bad bad bad bad bad happened. I don't feel like saying it here right now. I'm still freaking out about it. I've been smoking cigarettes after cigarettes to help myself calm down a bit but apparently it's not working cause I'm down to my last few. I pretty much almost killed one pack. Wow, I feel bad for my throat. It's gonna hurt like a bitch tomorrow morning. Whatever, shit happens but life goes on, right?

StayStrong<3
Love,Ana

P.S. I don't have any thinspirational pictures on my laptop yet so when I do get my pictures from the computer transferred over, I'll have a great thinspo ready for you!

Hello to "You Got Skinnier"

HELL YEAH. the title says it all. I met up with Guy #1 last night, and the first thing that comes out of his mouth is, "Did you lose weight or something, cause you look skinnier. (hugs me) Oh my fuck, I can almost crush you!" mmhmm, those were his exact words. After he blurted that, I couldn't help but pounce on him. Obviously, he was confused as to why I was so fucking happy, but he didn't mind. In fact, i'm pretty sure he enjoyed it all. That one compliment won him a wonderful playtime in bed (; HAHA anyways, i doubt anything will happen between guy #2 and me. He can't quit drugs and his substance abuse will only negatively affect me. I mean, i'm still struggling to stay away from drugs, if i decide to begin things with him, i'll only end up doing it again.. only this time, with him. Guy #2 is HOT, i'll admit. He has that tough, bad boy feel to him, and i usually find that attractive. He's actually a little too badass for me, which makes me feel in danger and in love. I like that. BUT, Guy #1 has all these traits that I know will never put me through another heartbreak. Actually, he's quite a flirt so I'm not sure about that, but at least I know he won't let me fall into druggie practices again. And, he's kinda cute. He's not too bad in bed either. Sad to say this, but my ex was wayyy better, but I don't really mind. Anywho, i think i'm getting a little too carried away with this boy talk. Time for update on my weightloss?

The past few days, i've been sick as a dog so my intakes been low. I weighed in this morning at 99 pounds and that was after i had breakfast. I'm hoping I'll be able to keep my intake low today as well. I'm feeling much better now, but I don't want that to ruin my success! So far, I've had two glasses of orange juice, two eggs, and a bag of chips (honestly don't know why i ate this). I've got a busy day ahead! Time to relax at a nearby cafe with my coffee and endless cigarettes! Hopefully, all this work load will help keep my mind off eating!

Stay Strong<3

Love,Ana

P.S. I've been doing great with staying drug-free! Congrats to me!

Hello to Depression

Intake:
Breakfast- fried rice
Snack- few bites of a sandwich
Lunch- few bites of a burrito & nachos w/ cheese
Dinner- Chicken over rice with veggies
YEAH, i know this is gross.

I binged last night & I'm depressed. I need some type of medication for this. I also need some adderall... I can't stay focused for over 30 seconds, literally. I have too many problems. And to top it all off, my weight is bouncing around everywhere! It won't stay put. I was 98.5 pounds two days ago, and now I'm 102.5 pounds. Is that even possible?! Why the hell can't I stop stuffing junk into my fatass tummy?! Everything's been pissing me off. So basically, the thing with guy #3 isn't going to work out cause I turned him down. Although i took some advice from the comments on my previous post and went to dinner with him, I just didn't feel any connection. I'll admit, he's a real gentleman, but nothing about him attracts me. Guy #2 and I get along better though. He's a sweet guy. Kinda timid, but sweet. Guy #1 is almost everything that I've ever wanted in a guy. It's almost as if we're official right now. I'm just going along with everything, hoping for things to just fall into place. For now, I'm just gonna sip my coffee with some cigarettes and write my paper.

Stay strong lovelies!
Love,Ana

Hello to Pop, Drop, and Roll

I'm back ! Yes, i know i've totally abandoned my blog for a few weeks, but i promise i'll try and not be so m.i.a. again. i've been so caught up with everything that i never found time to post something. Well, during the time i was gone, i gained weight. about 6 pounds or so? I know.. disgusting, right? But I lost about two or three pounds in the last two days, mainly due to dropping. In fact, I'm rolling right now as I type this. I'm such a mess... I need to quit, but i can't. i can't because i'm a weak, pathetic bitch who can't lose weight without drugs. Whatever, i think being thin is worth anything and everything. I'm probably going to be cracked out tomorrow so i plan on fasting.

I know this might not interest some of you, but I just have to write about it here. confessing everything here helps me cope with any situation. Okay, so basically i'm stuck between three guys. (i know, you probably think i'm a dirty whore or something..) anyways, everything seems to get more and more complicated. it hasn't been long since i broke up with my boyfriend and i ended up sleeping with this guy (let's call him boy#1). now, this other guy (boy#2) supposedly thinks i'm "hot" ..i don't know what the fuck is up with his eyes, but he's definitely trippen. he wants to grab a drink this weekend. ALSO, this other guy (boy#3) that used to like me a few years ago recently started talking to me again... after hearing that i broke up with my boyfriend. He wants to take me out to dinner, but i don't want to accept because i'm really starting to like boy#1... I must be fucking insane. The whole purpose of breaking up with my boyfriend was to be single and have fun, but what the hell am i doing to myself right now? I'm setting myself up for a big ball of disaster. Help?

StayStrong<3

Love,Ana

Hello to Busy Busy Busy

Why am i so busy all the time?! I've been stressing so much that I couldn't stop feeding my fatass ... At least I've been trying to eat healthier foods, but it's no help if i'm going to fucking binge without purging. I will have to update later cause I'm on a rush right now. Gotta go get some shit done.

Today's intake so far:
breakfast- few spoons of rice with 7 pieces of fried shrimp (ew, i know)
snack- cereal bar (130 cal) with green tea (0 cal)
lunch- salad with 2tsp of onion vinegarette (100 cal), strawberry banana smoothie (150 cal)
snack- mighty mango juice (180 cal)
dinner- (hopefully nothing, we'll see)

Hello to Day 1

Goodmorning blog. I'm cracked out, i'm feeling like shit, and I'm ready to be thin. I finally decided to start restricting myself and exercising again. The past few weeks have been HORRIBLE. My eating habits went out of control, and my life's been tangling up into this crazy mess. i fucking hate drama. Basically, I've been eating my emotions. If I posted my daily intake, it'll make you want to purge. Yeah, it's thaaaat bad. but I'm sick of feeling like shit everyday, so now I'm back on track! I'll be posting up my intake and status :)

I suck with following through with my plans, but I'm hoping that I don't give up on this one. I don't want to be the one who stares in jealousy of skinny girls. I want to be that skinny girl again. I'm going to make this happen, I have to.

Stay strong<3
Love,Ana

Hello to School

Right now, I'm on my phone in class. I just couldn't wait to post so here I am! Haha, well I've been off track for quite awhile. You can probably tell by how I rarely update now. That's about to change, cause I'm more than determined to lose weight before this big event that's coming up in about a month. I HAVE to look gorgeous, I can be wearing the most expensive dress with the prettiest hair and makeup, but all of that wouldn't matter if I looked FAT. So, I'm going to restrict and exercise. Today, I'm going out to a bar with some friends so I'll be consuming a shitload of calories. Not excited for that at all, but after today I'm going to push myself. No questions asked. Wish me luck!

Stay strong<3
Love,ana

Hello to Fast Forward

This guy that I've been getting with a few times seriously wants to jump into a long term relationship. (I'll name him as G) I JUST ended a long relationship with another guy. How do you expect me to bounce right into another one? I'm exhausted from my previous boyfriend. TOday, my intake is way high. This is mainly because I was with my friends the whole day, and at night I met with G for dinner. I told him that I ate already but he wouldn't listen... just like any other guy would. He surprised me by taking me to his house where his parents were waiting to meet me. Surprise, much? It was very unexpected, but it wasn't too bad. I was planning on posting my intake for today but I erased it right after I typed it all out. Way too embarassing to have it potsed. I need to start eating right and exercising! Everyone around me started to exercise again, and I'm the only one being a fatass... what's up with that?!

Stay strong<3
Love,Ana

Hello to Back on Track and Hooking Up?

After a week of bingeing, I started my period. It was a relief cause I was starting to get scared at how abnormally I've been eating. Today was a good day, I barely had any time to eat so I'm feeling pretty thin :) Intake consisted of oranges, lean cuisine, some sour gummies, nonfat latte, and a handful of cheese crackers. Okay, it's not all that great but it's pretty damn good compared to this past week. Anyways, I've got juicy news. Me and the other guy I've mentioned before went for it in his car. He just dropped me off right now and here I am writing about it. It was very wrong, but exciting. I haven't felt so wreckless and alive for a looong time. I actually really liked it. I'm a bit busy lately so my posts have been short and vague, but once I finish with the busy stuff, I'll update more on my stats and intake, along with thinspoooooo!

Love,Ana

Hello to Being Single

I'm single and I'm happy. I'm partying, eating, and flirting. Life would be perfect if the "eating" part didn't exist. I'm still trying to lose the five pounds that I've gained but it's hard. I hate how my face is bloated, I hate how my tummy is bulging out, I hate how flabby my legs are, I hate how my clothes don't look good on me anymore, and I hate how I don't feel pretty. I'm debating whether I should drop this week to help lose weight, even though I know it's not permanent weight loss. I still think it's worth it. It always helps jump start my plan. I don't know... I've gone too long without mdma... I'll see about that tomorrow.

Hello to Too Much Alcohol

Steak, brownie, vanilla icecream, fudge and caramel, bags of chips, chocolate, gummy bears, cigarettes, fried chicken, fast food, midnight snacks, and alcohol. This sums of my week. I've gained 5 pounds. If I don't lose this I might shoot myself.

Hello to -3 lbs & a Love Affair?!

I lost three pounds! Welcome back 98! Now, its time for me to make a confession..

My life doesn't stop getting more and more complicated! I don't know what's gotten into me. Lord, please help cause I've gone toally INSANE. Okay so, last night I went over to my guy friend's house. He's been going through some crazy drama with two other girls that he was seeing, so he asked me to come over for advice and stuff. To make the long story short, we slept together. Yeah, I know, I'm a fucking bitch. He has a girlfriend, and another girl he's seeing behind his girlfriends back. And I'm on a break with my boyfriend.. Weird thing is, when everything happened last night, it felt so right. Nothing was in my mind. Just the sound of heavy breathing filled my mind. We had a fling in the past for a short while but it didn't work cause his friend liked me so I jus left the picture. I didn't want to ruin their friendship or anything. But, here I am... Confused as to what I'm feeling, and what he wants. He says all these things but I can't completely believe him. (I don't want to write here all the stuff he said cause it'll get too long and boring).

I don't know where I stand. I've been planning on breaking up with my boyfriend anyways. But he's stuck in this crazy situation. Whatever, I don't want to be stressing about this too much. After all, it could've just been our past spark being rekindled for a split moment. Nothing more than that.

Stay strong<3
Love,Ana

Hello to 6 Lbs .........?

Did I really gain 6 lbs or is my scale broken? I'm sorry and embarassed to say this, but i put on 6 lbs since I've quit drugs. I can't get over how pathetic I am! But the surprising thing is, I didn't really freak out as much when I saw the scale. Normally, I would have a panic attack, but today I was just disappointed. My emotions have dulled down too much.. so lifeless. Popped a lax to try and rid all of this junk inside me so I can start brand new tomorrow. I have a feeling I'm going to just binge out again, but we'll see.

Today:

B- pb&j, scrambled eggs, 5 cinnamon twists with syrup

L-orange, chocolate bar

D-two ice cream cones, half a chicken burger, golfish crackers

It's very apparent that my eating habits have gone OUT OF CONTROL. I wasn't planning on posting what I ate, but it's my punishment.

Stay Strong<3

Love,Ana

Hello to Addiction.

Sorry everyone for abandoning my blog for so long! This weeks been the darkest, scariest, and looooooongest. Do not continue reading this if you're not down to listen to me rant/vent. I've seriously been having suicidal thoughts lately. I'm always depressed, and I get lonely even when I'm not alone. This isn't normal, right? I've officially gone insane. I haven't laughed or smiled in too long. I feel as if I forgot how to.. I'm convinced that drug abuse caused all this mess, but I'm kinda in denial... hahaha I know, how stupid of me. I've been clean for the past week and I guess I'm proud of it, but why am I not happy? Addiction kills. I hate this feeling of being bounded and dependent on something.. which leads to one reason why I hate cigarettes! drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, depression, suicide, loneliness, loss of identity and purpose.. these are all demons that are running through my head constantly and I can't stop it. I know I sound pathetic and super emo, but my blog is the only outlet where I can relieve myself.

Since I've been sober this week, I gained a shit ton of weight. I don't really want to post what I've consumed, but I'll tell you this: I gained 5 lbs. I need to lose this, IMMEDIATELY. My jeans aren't fitting me as nicely as before! I'm about to lose it! If I don't go back to how I was, I'm just gonna jump off a cliff or something. haha, i'm just kidding. But really, I need to start controlling my eating habits. I'm thinking of giving the 2468 a try again. Maybe reverse it or something, but yeah. I'll just update on how I'm doing throughout this week.

Sorry for ranting on so much! I feel much better. And thank you to all my followers! It feels so good to see more and more people reading my blog :) I feel as if I'm boring though haha

Stay Strong<3
Love,Ana

Hello to Soberness

Woke up a little too early today.. i can't ever get a good amount of sleep. Anyways, I woke up this morning and thought to myself that I was gonna stay sober today. Woooot! Totally proud of myself that I finally decided to do something good for my body, for once.. I think it's been about two weeks since the last time I wasn't drugged out. I wasn't going to write that here cause it just shows how pathetic and weak I am, but I just felt like it when I woke up this morning. Every time I post something, I feel better about it. I hope I actually follow through with my plan.. but that means I'm going to be hungryyyy! I hate hate hate hate hunger. But I need to quit cause I'm only cheating myself into being thin. I'm using other substances to stop myself from eating, instead of me controlling myself to starve. Why am I so lame?

The past two weeks, my intake consisted of cookies, chips, water, and cigarettes. Nothing else. Today, I plan on eating some healthy greens. It's so hard to stay away from my junkie food ): but I deserve this punishment.. hahaha.

StayStrong & Sober (HAHA)
Love,Ana

Hello to 96.5 !

Goodmorning blog :)
I feel feather light right now. But I just had two nutter butter cookies(130cals) and two oranges(?cals) and a cup of tea. I don't know why I just did that. Especially after bingeing on five bags of chips, 8 nutter butter cookies, and a bowl of fried rice last night... So, before my nighttime binge, I weighed 95.5 lbs.. Right now I'm 96.5 lbs. My weight just goes up and down. It gets so annoying. Hahaha I shouldn't be saying that cause my intake has been high these past few days. I'm seriously hoping that I can stay at 96.5 lbs by tonight. I have a feeling I might fail, but I'll try hahaha.

i'll try and update later! maybe some thinspo too :)

StayStrong<3
Love,Ana

Hello to a New Low!

Hello, 97 ! Yes, I woke up this morning at 97 lbs. I haven't felt so light in a looooooong time. I had to attend to a wedding today so I kinda ruined my plan for today. I was supposed to stick to veggies and fruits since I almost fasted for the whole day yesterday. But, is it ever possible to go to a wedding and not eat there?! Okay, it's possible for ana, but for people like me.. it's hard. I need to start building my relationship with ana again. It seems to grow weaker and weaker. Even after pigging out today, I weighed in at 98 lbs. Kinda disappointed, but it's only one pound. I hope I can lose that tomorrow. I plan to fast tomorrow. Or maybe have breakfast and not eat for the whole day. This is going to be hard... I'll update on how I do !

Stay Strong<3
Love,Ana

Hello to Post-Period Cravings?

Is it possible to crave food even after finishing your period? I don't know about you, but I don't eat like a fucking whale after I finish mine. But this week has been HORRIBLE. I'm seriously convinced that I'm pregnant cause it's not normal to be eating like this. I might be overreacting... haha I don't know, but I've been eating way over my limit. I can't restrict myself. I don't even doll myself up anymore! Sweats, over-sized tshirts, sandals, and sunglasses sum up the past few days. No make-up, no dressing up, no nothing. Being lazy rocks, but it kills. Even though I let myself go, I still managed my weight at 99.5 lbs. Only gained a pound, but that's only cause I finally realized how bloated I looked so I didn't eat past 3:30 pm today. Boyfriend should be coming home soon with dinner. Not looking forward to it. Planning on gulping down some tea with cigarettes and tell him I already ate. Hope this works. He's so stubborn! I hate it.

Oh, and about uploading pictures of myself. I'll be doing that asap! As soon as my camera is fixed, i'll have it up :) Don't expect too much. I'm only 5'2'' so weighing in at 99.5 at this height isn't really thinspiring. HA really, I'm not lying!

Stay strong!

Love,Ana

Hello to Earthquaaaaaaaake

Some thinspo for you skinny people!







So, an earthquake hit cali today and i didn't feel shit. Everyone was freaking out, except me. Today was a reeeelaxing day anddddd I'm feeling way thin :) Last night I weighed 98 lbs. Today, after eating a tiny portion of McDonald's breakfast deluxe platter, starbucks, few bites of corn bread, pack of skittles, yogurt with granola, a banana, some french fries, starbucks again, and a piece of lemon loaf.. I weighed in at 98.5 lbs ! Isn't that insane? But, I still have to eat dinner with my family. I haven't seen them for days, so I can't make up an excuse not to show up... I'm fucked. I already binged today and I'm lucky that I only gained 0.5 lb... I can't eat or I'll probably shoot back up to 102 lbs.. that A L W A Y S happens and it's starting to really piss me off. I'm sick of staying at the same weight. There needs to be some change and it's going to happen NOW. So at dinner, I'm eating something very low fat :) Also, I haven't been purging. Feels good to stop that habit. Smoking and coffee is already ruining my teeth.. I don't need more damage HA HA.

P.S. I might upload some pictures of myself. I feel like it will encourage me to try harder. I've been lacking motivation lately so hopefully this will help :) Kinda scared but I'll probably just do it

Stay strong!<3
Love,Ana