Hello to Mission Almost Accomplished?

I know I said I would come back after reaching my goal of 100 lbs but I couldn't do it. Last week, I've been fluctuating from 103.5 to 100.5 So I guess I kinda made it ? Ha, no i didn't. I'm giving myself too much credit. This morning I weighed in at 100.5 I weighed myself again later today and I was 102.5 That's not good. I feel like shit and I regret eating. I couldn't avoid it though. My moms catching on about my condition, and so are my friends, and to make it worse... my boyfriend. He's always eating something so hearty and meaty and fat, which he tries to force me to try it with him. That's just disgusting. But what's even more repulsive is the fact that i give in sometimes. My mood is ambiguous right now. I'm happy I haven't gained a gang of weight, but I'm disappointed in myself for having let go when I was so close to reaching my goal. I ran into my friend today and she told me I've been getting "freakishly skinny" these days but she's hugely mistaken. It's just due to the baggy outfit I was wearing today. And today, after taking a nice nap with my boyfriend, he started tracing my bones and asked me if I'm eating these days. No duh I am. Look at my elephant thighs. I hate the holidays. Family dinners, dinners with friends, dinners with boyfriend, dinners with boyfriend's family...it's never-ending and I'm getting sick of it. I'm about to leave my house for a family dinner and I can NOT avoid it... I'm scared.

Love,Ana