Hello to Drug-Free-ness

I'm happy to say that I've been drug free for a week now. Wow. Big big news. Well, for me it is. haha I know, I sound weak and pathetic but I'm trying and it's not so bad. Just kidding.. it's been HORRIBLE. I've been an emotional wreck this whole week. The past four days, I've been crying out of nowhere. Not just any kind of crying, but the kind of crying you do at a funeral... or after a crazyass binge. Honestly, I don't even know why I've been crying so much. I just hit rock bottom, kinda depressed, and felt worthless. Un-loved? I'm finally coming to realize that sex DOES have a big impact on relatioships. I thought I would never say this, but I'm convinced that the lack of sex I've been getting from my boyfriend is one of the factors why I've been so fucking depressed lately. I can't believe I'm admitting this on here but whatever hahaha, I think it's kinda funny, no? I feel too fat to be in bed with him now. It's ridiculous... When I feel thin and empty, I feel sexy and get frisky. But, now I don't feel any of that. I just feel like being a potato couch and watching tv with my bag of chips. Anywho, I'm much better now. I'm actually feeling normal again, or slowly starting to. I bought 2 dozens of donuts today. YES, 2 fucking dozens. But don't worry, they weren't for me. hahaha, I bought it for my studio and they enjoyed it, which made me happy :) Bad news is, I ended up eating two donuts. Fuck me. I realized I haven't been updating on my intake. It's kinda hard to cause I'm always eating bites and pieces of random stuff that my boyfriend gets. Let's just say today was an oooookay day. It would've gone great if I didn't drop by the gas station on the way home for a snicker bar. I just had to do it. I'm probably going to start my period or SOMETHING. Oh, I just realized I haven't had my period for 2.5 months ... wow. For some odd reason, I feel accomplished? I'm just a confused child right now. Well, I'm off to bed! I've been feeling lazy and tired these days. Been going to bed freakishly early hahahaha. Stay strong beautifuls! I'm always reading your blogs<3

Love,Ana