Hello to WTFF!

I'm so fucking stupid. I just had two slices of pizza after a bad bad bad fucking day. I didn't eat huge meals throughout the day, but I ate a lot of random bits of stuff and that adds up quickly. I don't know how many calories I consumed, but I'm sure it's way past my limit.. way past anyone's limit. Pretty damn depressing, regarding the fact that I've been doing a good job the past few days. I was under 100 pounds for awhile, but I blew it off. Just like that. In one day. It's gone. I was starting to feel confident about reaching my goal weight, but now I feel weak as ever. It's an ongoing cycle. I work hard to fall into two digits, and when I'm starting to feel too confident, I gain it all back.. sometimes more than before. Then I just want to give up. But the weird thing is, giving up seems harder than trying again. This is what ED does to you. It makes you weak. It makes you forget what made you happy before. It makes you confused. I don't know if I want to stop and be back to normal, or keep trying. All i know is that, I'm thinner than before but I'm still not happy. I see myself in the mirror and I don't see any change. Strange thing is: today, I met up with a friend that I haven't seen for awhile. We were both catching a cigarette, and she stares at me. I ask her what she's looking at and she replies, "Stop losing weight. Seriously, stop." Um, hold up. Stop bullshitting cause obviously you need to get your eyes checked. I feel my legs fucking jiggle when I walk. I have too much weight to lose for you to say that right now. Please, save it for when I reach my goal weight.. which is going to be never... Honestly, I don't know if I can go on anymore. My willpower seems to die more and more each day. I feel weak. Someone help.

Summer's coming and it's coming fast. I'm fucked.

I want to be able to drive in my bikini and actually feel hot.
To be skinny enough to tan anywhere I want.
To strike a pose and look sexy
To be light enough to fly away

Stay strong and work hard<3
Love,Ana