Hello to School

Right now, I'm on my phone in class. I just couldn't wait to post so here I am! Haha, well I've been off track for quite awhile. You can probably tell by how I rarely update now. That's about to change, cause I'm more than determined to lose weight before this big event that's coming up in about a month. I HAVE to look gorgeous, I can be wearing the most expensive dress with the prettiest hair and makeup, but all of that wouldn't matter if I looked FAT. So, I'm going to restrict and exercise. Today, I'm going out to a bar with some friends so I'll be consuming a shitload of calories. Not excited for that at all, but after today I'm going to push myself. No questions asked. Wish me luck!

Stay strong<3
Love,ana

Hello to Fast Forward

This guy that I've been getting with a few times seriously wants to jump into a long term relationship. (I'll name him as G) I JUST ended a long relationship with another guy. How do you expect me to bounce right into another one? I'm exhausted from my previous boyfriend. TOday, my intake is way high. This is mainly because I was with my friends the whole day, and at night I met with G for dinner. I told him that I ate already but he wouldn't listen... just like any other guy would. He surprised me by taking me to his house where his parents were waiting to meet me. Surprise, much? It was very unexpected, but it wasn't too bad. I was planning on posting my intake for today but I erased it right after I typed it all out. Way too embarassing to have it potsed. I need to start eating right and exercising! Everyone around me started to exercise again, and I'm the only one being a fatass... what's up with that?!

Stay strong<3
Love,Ana

Hello to Back on Track and Hooking Up?

After a week of bingeing, I started my period. It was a relief cause I was starting to get scared at how abnormally I've been eating. Today was a good day, I barely had any time to eat so I'm feeling pretty thin :) Intake consisted of oranges, lean cuisine, some sour gummies, nonfat latte, and a handful of cheese crackers. Okay, it's not all that great but it's pretty damn good compared to this past week. Anyways, I've got juicy news. Me and the other guy I've mentioned before went for it in his car. He just dropped me off right now and here I am writing about it. It was very wrong, but exciting. I haven't felt so wreckless and alive for a looong time. I actually really liked it. I'm a bit busy lately so my posts have been short and vague, but once I finish with the busy stuff, I'll update more on my stats and intake, along with thinspoooooo!

Love,Ana

Hello to Being Single

I'm single and I'm happy. I'm partying, eating, and flirting. Life would be perfect if the "eating" part didn't exist. I'm still trying to lose the five pounds that I've gained but it's hard. I hate how my face is bloated, I hate how my tummy is bulging out, I hate how flabby my legs are, I hate how my clothes don't look good on me anymore, and I hate how I don't feel pretty. I'm debating whether I should drop this week to help lose weight, even though I know it's not permanent weight loss. I still think it's worth it. It always helps jump start my plan. I don't know... I've gone too long without mdma... I'll see about that tomorrow.

Hello to Too Much Alcohol

Steak, brownie, vanilla icecream, fudge and caramel, bags of chips, chocolate, gummy bears, cigarettes, fried chicken, fast food, midnight snacks, and alcohol. This sums of my week. I've gained 5 pounds. If I don't lose this I might shoot myself.

Hello to -3 lbs & a Love Affair?!

I lost three pounds! Welcome back 98! Now, its time for me to make a confession..

My life doesn't stop getting more and more complicated! I don't know what's gotten into me. Lord, please help cause I've gone toally INSANE. Okay so, last night I went over to my guy friend's house. He's been going through some crazy drama with two other girls that he was seeing, so he asked me to come over for advice and stuff. To make the long story short, we slept together. Yeah, I know, I'm a fucking bitch. He has a girlfriend, and another girl he's seeing behind his girlfriends back. And I'm on a break with my boyfriend.. Weird thing is, when everything happened last night, it felt so right. Nothing was in my mind. Just the sound of heavy breathing filled my mind. We had a fling in the past for a short while but it didn't work cause his friend liked me so I jus left the picture. I didn't want to ruin their friendship or anything. But, here I am... Confused as to what I'm feeling, and what he wants. He says all these things but I can't completely believe him. (I don't want to write here all the stuff he said cause it'll get too long and boring).

I don't know where I stand. I've been planning on breaking up with my boyfriend anyways. But he's stuck in this crazy situation. Whatever, I don't want to be stressing about this too much. After all, it could've just been our past spark being rekindled for a split moment. Nothing more than that.

Stay strong<3
Love,Ana

Hello to 6 Lbs .........?

Did I really gain 6 lbs or is my scale broken? I'm sorry and embarassed to say this, but i put on 6 lbs since I've quit drugs. I can't get over how pathetic I am! But the surprising thing is, I didn't really freak out as much when I saw the scale. Normally, I would have a panic attack, but today I was just disappointed. My emotions have dulled down too much.. so lifeless. Popped a lax to try and rid all of this junk inside me so I can start brand new tomorrow. I have a feeling I'm going to just binge out again, but we'll see.

Today:

B- pb&j, scrambled eggs, 5 cinnamon twists with syrup

L-orange, chocolate bar

D-two ice cream cones, half a chicken burger, golfish crackers

It's very apparent that my eating habits have gone OUT OF CONTROL. I wasn't planning on posting what I ate, but it's my punishment.

Stay Strong<3

Love,Ana