Hello to Breaktime

Hello blog! Sorry for the long break. I've been going through wayyy too much and definitely couldn't find the energy to blog about it. I don't want to burden anyone with a whole essay of me ranting about my pathetic life so I'll keep it sweet and simple :) So, to make the long story short, my parents and a few others definitely know about me and are doing whatever it takes to stop it. It's either I fatten up or they somehow get me into some fatass program. Whatever they do, I'm not going there. I did, however, eat when they offered to prove them wrong, and it seems to be working, but not good enough to change their minds. I feel ugly and worthless right now. I was able to get down to 99 pounds, but because of all the food they've been shoving down my mouth, I went back up to 103... I'm probably even higher than that right now. I haven't weighed myself yet cause I knew if I saw the numbers, I'd freak out and just binge. I have no cigarettes right now, but I fucking need one. Fuck me. At least I'm finally alone.

Starting tomorrow is a new beginning, HA. How many times have I said this to myself? No, but I'm being serious. I'm sure my parents won't be visiting me for a few days so that will give me time to get back on track. I'm hoping my boyfriend won't force-feed me in those few days. I'll come up with some excuse. Well, byebye blog! It's time for me to go get some cigarettes. I'm dying here hahahaha

Love,Ana