Hello to Giving up

I'm literally on the edge. I just want to jump off and give up. I'm depressed, fat, and too tired of the same old routine. I binge and binge, and binge again. Then, I get more depressed, which only makes me binge even more. It's strange how I've changed. I used to starve whenever I felt depressed, but now I turn to food. Food's a bitch. I hate food. I hate me. I've also been experiencing strong temptations to return to drugs. I know it's bad and I know how hard I had to work to quit, but it's been really hard lately.

I planned on fasting today, but my boyfriend's mom insisted on going out to dinner. I told her I ate already, but she wouldn't let me off ... That's all I want to say about today because the rest is disgusting and embarrassing to post. I've been eating like I a pregnant fatass. My boyfriend even commented saying he's never seen me like this before. I usually pick at my food or take a few bites of his meal. Maybe I am pregnant. What the fuck. Whatever, I'm just too tired to care right now. I need some thinspo.


Love,Ana