I managed to get down to 100 lbs but now I'm back up again. It's always like this. I go up and down, up and down. I'm kinda getting sick of this repeating cycle. When will it stop? Damn, I know I keep telling myself that I need to get it together, but I honestly can't find the strength to. My parents obviously know about my disorder now and they made it worse by telling my boyfriend. He's always force fed me, but now he's reeeeeally pushing it. I feel so trapped. I'm a fucking adult..let me live my life, SHIT. I couldn't post for awhile cause I wasn't home until today. Boyfriend decided that it would be "cute" to MAKE me stay at his place until he felt that he fed me enough. It was hell, I swear. Now I'm this fat, bloated ugly piece of fatfuck. Feels good to be back home, smoking, relaxing, writing in my blog. I'm SERIOUSLY going to try and start restricting this week. I know I say this a lot but I mean it this time. If I don't succeed, I'm really going to just kill myself. Wish me luck<3 Stay strong all of you! You guys are all great :)
Love,Ana
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PLEEEEEEEEEASE don't kill yourself! I love you too much to lose you! please don't kill yourself. i know you can do better. i know you can restrict! i know it! i'll be here if you need anything! (:
ReplyDeletelove you!
ali bella