Today was a failure. I planned on starting ABC today, but I faaaaaaaailed. real bad. I woke up and weighed myself. The scale told me 104.5 and I was actually quite happy, regarding the fact that I basically had a thanksgiving dinner round 2 last night. I was still full from dinner and didn't have much appetite so I just had a granola bar for breakfast. But, my mom forced me to eat with her at this mexican restaurant. That just ruined my day. I felt way too fat so i tried purging but I got paranoid that my mom would hear me so I gave up. I had too many carbs and calories in me that I didn't feel hungry throughout the day. Went to starbucks to keep myself busy. I got green tea, yummy :) this was basically the only good thing my body got today. The rest was just shit. But it's okay, I washed my guilt away with a couple cigarettes. I just weighed myself and I'm 106.5 ... gross. My mom's making dinner and I'm pretty sure she's gonna be calling me down to eat, but hell no. I'm not touching ANYTHING tonight. Tomorrow better be a success. I'm definitely gonna start my ABC tomorrow. I don't give a shit what anyone says. I'll just play off the I'm-stressed-out-and-sick-so-I-lost-my-appetite thing tomorrow :) Good luck to me!
Love, Ana
I'm back to announce that I actually ate two bites of cream-filled bread. I feel extra fat. I suck at life. Time for thinspiring pictures.
feels good to be on the treadmill once in awhile :)
it's been too long since i last bonded with my friend named exercise
Awww, sucks that your day was ruined. I hate it when events like that pop-up and totally catch you off guard.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your ABC tomorrow. I believe in you. :D
I hate it when that happens ! It happens too often and it makes me hate myself even more to be surrounded by all these things hindering me, and even worse.. for giving in. But thanks for the encouragement :) I believe in you too! If you need a buddy to do any kind of fast or diet with, i'd be more than happy to!
ReplyDeleteThanks Love,Ana, I'd be happy to do a fast/diet with you any day!
ReplyDeleteToo bad about the two bites of cream filled bread. Can you convince your parents that you're sort of lactose intolerant so that you can avoid fattening foods?
I was, and still am, vegan before Ana came to me. It's much easier to deal with food rejection that way because play the "that's going to cause cancer" or the "I believe in animal rights" card. In a way, it's totally true and legit. Lemme know what you think. :D